see saw

I am so easily influenced by others. It's like I have no back bone per say. I can read a post and react to it and then read somone elses reaction and be like, YEAah they are right and then read a reply or rebuttal and be like, yeah, they are right....jeepers, no parameters at all fro what I know. I love what kid mongo wrote about putting knowledge into action and then it is no longer knowledge. I feel like I need to do that. It is time to do that, it istime to do something. All this gathering, putting into the mind and no outlet. but it has to be a true outlet,not an obsessive, i gotta do something outlet. i guess it'll work itself out.
i loved carolina's post she seems really balance, not bi polar. it's like the exorcisms in my book, the people were actually really close to self realization and because the church completely rejects xthe negative, they had the truth exorcised out of them. Sad but true, good ole church, helping humans so much along their way....when will we all stand up and admit this isn't working?

I just knew ignoring the negative wasnt correc application. it made me feel nauseous when I heard it. I still feel the brain sync stuff will be ok to us though. it is just creating a brain wave state that certainly can be useful from slowing down my brain, god, it is constant this noggin of mine. going, going, going....there are always conversations and permeatations and calculations going on in there. at least when I'm reading Desteni I am totally present.
It's like everything is falling in place now. I'm beginning to see that maybe v has been doing this same thing all along. She has the same message - just doesn't express her channeling the same way except to say it isn't channelling and she doesn't know what she does. She's a portal, some kind of portal has occurred through her body and she has become aware, the veil is lifted. I think the veil has been lifted from my eyes now. Maybe I will begin to see but it doesn't dven matter anymore, it's not about seeing or becoming a channel for anything. for me its about reconciling with self. seeing my own demons, facing them then facing the world then somehow creating, self directing a life that supports myself in the process but that also supports others who are ready to wake up.\
awakening
accepting responsibility
creating solutions
realizing love (what is is anyways? no idea.....) Love is something connected to life and existence. it is somehow a vital element in our self revelation but has nothing to do with what we call love here. it is not a feel good and fuzzy on the inside kind of thing. it is so much more , it is nothing.
carving out new initiatives.
how can we do this here, not feel like we have to go to dEsteni to become validated? we have our portal already, we have been working with her for years. she will not be outed or revealed. \
certainly I don't believe anything we do there, i never have. i've always had one foot out of the door. my commitment is surface, and i am not attached to anything to do with it. but, outside of all the perceived ways the portal is still plugged into the systems, i think she is unique too. i think she is busting the system from the inside, which means on the exterior she is perpetuating all the new age crap but within it is actually being altered, the codes being changed, to all being equal and one...stepping outside the mind....beyond. crap , i think i finally see whats going on here. all this stuff if put before us to see how we will react. the skulls, the pyramids, the crystals..................if we give our power to these things we must walk past that. i am over my crystal skull identification. i identify with nothing....i just am everything.
Desteni is not the only source of true truth or real reality but it sure is a clear one.

True truth \
a gem, rare, not shiny
ugly, stupid, unquestioning slave

Real reality=all we will not face
all we will not accept as us
all we will not stop
all we think we are \not

what a trip, maybe the skulls were implanted before the mind consciousness sytems were put in place. maybe the skulls are exactly what we placed here to call us from our slumber. maybe the crap at desteni is just crap and it was only from their perspective that all dimensions no longer exist...actually it doesn't matter...none of what v'channels' has ever said they were even dimensional beings. all is within. vspeaks from within herself. not becuase she is perfect or special but just because her body happens to be the portal. agreements were made before time and before the soul construct and before the white light for us to do what we are doing now. i think some shit does need to go down in order for the buld of humanity to wakie up but we have cracked through much of the perceived canopies already.
all is within me. follow what i know...turn my knowledge into action. experience myself in every breath...forgive my mind, thank my mind for being here to showme how much i am plugged into my mind!